Dear Neighborhood Gods...

I'd really appreciate it if you could get the new neighbor next door to stop wanting to have 15-minute conversations about what's going on in his life at 6:30 in the morning when I step outside still wearing my pajamas and just want to pick up my newspaper.

Also, if you could maybe convince him and his wife that sticking red and white plastic flowers in the grass isn't really the most tasteful landscaping option, that would be great.

Thanks.