04.07.02

Dear K:

Happy ninth anniversary. It's not one of the big, monumental number anniversaries, and it falls on a Thursday, so there will be no celebration, as you're working while I'm home with Emmeline. But still, it's our anniversary, and I love you.

I don't know about you, but it's sometimes very hard for me to believe that we've been together for over 16 years now. Oftentimes, it doesn't seem like we're old enough to have been together that long. (I try not to think about the fact that I'm almost 42, and usually can, except for when I count the number of years we've been together.) I think we both know that we've had our challenges in the past and will continue to have them in the future. But at the same time, at the end of the day, I know we've both shown our commitment to this relationship and to each other, and I take a lot of comfort in that.


Our relationship has definitely changed a lot over the years--there's less time for each other now, especially with your work schedule and with a six-year-old in the picture, but I feel like we still genuinely enjoy spending time with each other, just the two of us, which is nice. I like our quiet Saturday nights together, cooking dinner, listening to music, and just hanging out on the porch talking. It's nice to know that even after all these years, we haven't completely run out of things to say to each other.

Are there still times when I want to kill you? Well, of course. And I'd be shocked if you didn't say the same about me.

So then, what am I trying to say here? I guess for starters, I'd like to say thank you. Thank you for sticking with me and with our relationship when it isn't always the happiest place to be. I know that I can be extremely trying at times with my insecurities and my hang-ups. But you've always been willing to tell me and show me that you're here for the duration, and I love you for that.

Thank you for being my partner through good times and bad, especially during times like Katrina and its aftermath and the death of my brother. Making it through those complete and total life upheavals together, even though there were times when it was extremely difficult, was a big accomplishment, I think.

Thank you for sharing your life and your loves with me. I'm never going to love Mardi Gras memorabilia, estate sales, or boat shows like you do, but I appreciate that your interests are a part of who you are and make you the person that I love.

Thank you for being a loving father to Emmeline. I think it's obvious to us both that she adores you. You have a wonderful, patient, and easy-going way with her, and I think she benefits greatly from that. I'm glad that you two have your "daddy-daughter days" and that you make such an effort to be a big part of her life, despite your work schedule.

Thank you for your sense of humor. It's nice to have a husband who loves to make smart-ass comments as much as I do.

Thank you for your optimism and your outlook on life. We both know that I worry enough for both of us, so it's nice to hear your point of view and your assurances that, in the end, everything will be alright. Sometimes I forget that, so I'm glad you're here to remind me.

Thank you for being my husband. I would go back in time and go through everything we've been through together again, because I love you. I may not say it often enough or well enough, but I am very grateful to have you in my life.

Thank you for being the person that you are.

Love, A