Palin, Where Art Thou?

I like the GOP debates better when the audience cheers for letting people without health insurance die. Is that coming up?

Security...

The restaurant where my husband works that shall otherwise remain nameless in this post is apparently hosting some type of Republican senatorial retreat this weekend. Kenny asked me if I wanted to come hang out at the bar, but after a few minutes of discussion, we both acknowledged that it would be very awkward when he had to call security on me after I asked every senator in sight about the magical pill you can swallow that ends up in your vagina.

Murica

I'm glad that we can now focus on the biggest threats to our democracy, which are, apparently, poor people, women's reproductive systems, and Ebola.

Birthers

Dear Baby Jesus--

I am trying so hard, so very, very hard, to be apolitical on Facebook.  My conservative friends post all sorts of crap about how Obama is the Worst. President. Ever.

They seem to have all forgotten that George W. Bush is the asshole that dragged us into this mess.  And even though, according to some Facebook test I took, I agree more with the Green Party candidate's platform than I do with Obama's, I will still vote for him. And I even don't comment on their crap. But bless me Jesus, for I have sinned.  Tonight, I just coudn't take it anymore. Today, Mittington Romney III went there and made a joke about how no one ever asks hiim for HIS birith certificate. Gee, Mittens, could it be because you're a pompous prick who is so obviously WHITE, despite the fact that you belong to a religon that most people consider a cult, and in spite of the fact that your family fled to Mexico so that they could practice polygamy?

And yet somehow, you're now questioning the validity of the President's nationalism? Really? Because what, he's black? And a Kenyan Muslim, Socialist, Communist, Facist, Nazi? (Note to detractors: you have to pick one--he can't be a Socialist AND a Communist.)

Equal Opportunity

The purpose of this particular post is about the ridiculousness that is election season. Dear God, if there is a god (which I believe there is, although my god isn't Roman Catholic), please let this horror end. I am an unabashed liberal. A progressive, some might say. I believe that there is one god, regardless of your faith--you can be Muslim, Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist, agnostic or atheist. (Hell, you can even be some freaky ass religion like Mormon or Scientologist. Who am I to judge?) But we all still all have the same god, and he is a god of love.

So nothing pisses me off more than a quote like this, from a "pro-life," "Christian" Republican:
'America, America is just more than a place, though. America is an idea. It's the only country founded on an idea. Our rights come from nature and God, not from government. That's right. That's who we are, that's how we built this country. That's who we are. That's what made us great. That's what made us great. We promise equal opportunity, not equal outcomes.'

The Exorcist

Dear Mittens: Is this really who you want as your VP candidate?

I Heart James Carville

Carville to GOP: You have a disaster on your hands.
"It's been a terrible time to be a Republican. There have been many moments during this process that have caused me great joy. Certainly the events of Thursday, ending with the CNN debate, and even the Fox debate Monday night, have helped ease the pain of my beloved Tigers' and Saints' recent defeats.

I mean, most people thought it was kind of a watermark when your Tea Party gang booed the golden rule. You know, I've spent some time in Philly and they have always thought they were pretty radical because they actually booed Santa Claus and Willie Mays. Philly, I've got news for you -- you ain't got nothing on South Carolina Republicans. They just aren't buying any of that do-unto-others garbage."

Dear Mississippi:

I just wanted to let you know that I'm proud of you for doing the right thing and voting down that idiotic personhood law.

To be honest, after living within your borders for four years, I wasn't sure you had it in you. Maybe there's hope for you after all.

Sincerely, A

Quotes of the Week

If you came up with a bumper sticker that pulls together the platform of this year’s crop of Republican presidential candidates, it would have to be: "Repeal the 20th century. Vote GOP."
--Steven Pearlstein, The Washington Post

Listening to Perry try to a put a complicated policy sentence together is like watching a chimp play with a locked suitcase.
--Mike Murphy, Republican strategist

Posted Without Comment*

*Because I think you probably know how I feel about this.

From a survey of 574 GOP primary voters nationwide:



H/T, First Draft.

The Equivalent of Eating What?

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Wow. This is the fine quality programming that Fox has come up with to replace Glen Beck? And, as has been asked on the internets, why is it equivalent to eating a live raccoon? WTF is that about? Because our first lady is African American and therefore must eat live critters? So first your argument is that she would eat a live raccoon and then your argument is that she's elitist because she got her hamburger from some fancy-shmancy place with hand-blended shakes rather than McDonald's? And then you take offense to the fact that oh my God, the First Lady's platform is trying to reduce childhood obesity and she had the gall to eat a cheeseburger?

Oh, Fox News. "The Five" are quite the brain trust, aren't they?

H/T, Balloon Juice

Quadruple Points, Texas

Note to self: do not, under any circumstances, move to Texas.

Texas Board of Education Approves More Conservative Curriculum

Among other gems like now referring to the slave trade as the "Atlantic Triangular Trade," the Texas Board of Education will also now require that the U.S. government be referred to as a "constitutional republic" rather than as "democratic."

You morons. Were you jealous of Arizona or something?

Point, Georgia

In the continuing game Kenny and I like to play to decide whose home state is more embarrassing, my native state doesn't fail to disappoint as the great state of Georgia jumps on the birther bandwagon:

"[A] recent poll finds that only 58 percent of Americans say that Obama was born in the U.S. Twenty-three percent say they don't know, and 20 percent say he was born in another country."

Ah, living in the South. It never fails to disappoint. My only consolation is that the first state to pass a birther bill was Arizona. As Jon Stewart said last night, Arizona seems to be the meth lab of democracy.

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